A Very Rare Instance in Which I Have These Things Called 'Feelings'

Today I watched Every Little Step, the documentary about dancers auditioning for starring roles in the revival of A Chorus Line on Broadway and got perilously close to bawling my eyes out.

I know its obviously constructed to manipulate the audience into caring about specific dancers and making us emotionally respond to watching them achieve their dreams, but something about people succeeding in the arts despite the harsh reality of the fact that almost nobody actually does makes me go to pieces.

My boyfriend the former theatre actor also pointed out that this was probably completely fabricated and not a role touching too close to home, but if this doesn't tug at you at least a little, you may have no soul.

The fact that the last shot of the film was this guy getting out of his costume after his first Broadway show and looking absolutely elated was way too much for me to handle. I am clearly a rubbery pile of mush.

Oscars fail to be engaging as usual and I stop caring

Last night was the first time the attendees of the 2010 Academy Awards looked particularly bored as the ceremony runs approximately half an hour past its scheduled end. Last night was also the first time I didn't watch a single second of the awards (while on syndication, at least - my impression of the ceremony results from watching YouTube clips for the brief fifteen minutes they remain on the site before being deleted for copyright infringement).

Once again, the Academy plays it safe and rewards everyone we knew would be rewarded, and the Iraq War is deemed culturally more important than nature-loving blue aliens. Cristoph Waltz, the only winner who hasn't yet been chewed up and spit out by the Hollywood robot machine (everyone looks stiffer and blander every year) is also the only person to appear genuinely thrilled, humbled, and does not prompt me to throw a shoe at my television (Sandra Bullock winning an Oscar for playing a rich hick housewife in a predictable, schmaltzy, and possibly borderline-racist family film, however, does).

Jeff Bridges also addresses the director of Crazy Heart as "man" and giggles during his acceptance speech, reminding me why The Big Lebowski is the greatest movie of all time.

Some thoughts on the last few movies I've seen

Shutter Island
I was enjoying this quite a bit up until I realized I knew exactly how it was going to end. I initially thought, "Nah, Scorsese has more integrity and imagination than that," but, well, my initial suspicions were confirmed. This movie was pretty chilling, well-acted, and clever when it was subtle and affecting, before it decided to run with a twist that rivals M. Night Shyamalan's most ridiculous. I'm pretty disappointed. This could have been so much better if it hadn't relied on a gimmick.

Sukiyaki Western Django
As someone with a love/hate relationship with Quentin Tarantino, I couldn't help but find his presence in this movie kind of out-of-place and jarring, and this is a film about Takashi Miike's version of a Wild West Nevada populated by rival Japanese gangs. It's actually surprisingly subtle for a Miike film, and even when the violence borders on the extreme, it doesn't veer into ridiculous territory. It's obviously indulgent, but not to the point where it is obnoxious due to how lovingly crafted it is. Enjoyed this very much, but for the love of god Tarantino, stop acting.

Thirst
A legitimately sexy and intense vampire film. I'm a big fan of Oldboy, and stylistically this is very similar - it's dark, moody, and it looks beautiful. It grappled with religious issues in a way that I admired for being touching and refreshingly honest. There were times when I felt the film unnecessarily incorporated too many vampire tropes, but the touches of black humour made me smile and the score was eclectic and almost jazzy. Really liked this movie.

Adaptation.
I generally enjoy Charlie Kaufman's awkward, paranoid view on life (except for one of his other films that shall remain nameless), and deep down I geek out over a movie like this, with so many layers of meta I confuse myself trying to keep track of all of them, get them all straight, then lose myself again. The screenplay is pretty damn close to a masterpiece. Nic Cage is surprisingly excellent in this, and reminds me that he can actually act when teamed with a competent writer and director. I did think there were times when the constant reiteration of Charlie's pathetic loner-ness was hammy and overstated, but it petered out by the last half of the film.

Inland Empire
I have a very tenuous grasp on exactly how I feel about this movie because I, like most other people I'm sure, have no idea what the fuck it was about. I'm left with a strong sense of being both horrified and fascinated. I liked it a lot. I'm fairly sure of this. It's probably the most frustrating thing I've ever seen, but I felt such a sense of wonder at how powerfully psychological and disarming it was. It feels more like a long, bizarre, frighting, trip with frequent flashes of brilliance than a movie, and I'm wondering if this really is the point of Inland Empire after all.

All That Jazz
I'm not sure why I haven't seen this before, but it's probably the smartest, most affecting, most creatively crafted quasi-musical-(auto)biography I've ever seen. It also becomes a million times more disturbing when you realize that Bob Fosse wrote, directed, and choreographed a film about essentially himself as a drug-addicted workaholic who is too "generous with his cock". The whole thing is fast, wild, and, just like Inland Empire, feels like a trip - albeit one that's much more fun (and much less hopelessly confusing. This has a plot).

Tattoos and Why One Woman Thinks You Shouldn't Bother If You're Not Angelina

Sitting in the waiting room of a downtown Toronto counselling clinic (not for therapy, for once – scouting out locations for a student film and awaiting the arrival of my partner-in-crime), I idly flipped through the October 2009 issue of Elle, a highly-regarded Canadian fashion magazine that leans toward the haute couture. Due to this fact, I did not expect to happen upon

A: An article about tattoos;

Or B: A positive article about tattoos.

Best guesses as to which the article contained (Hint: it sure as hell wasn’t Option B).

Oh, it wasn’t all bad. The author did admit that tattoos look “fab” on Angelina and Rhianna, but she cautions the rest of us mere mortals to think twice before getting a tattoo, because we might not “suit one.”

There are some interesting notions surrounding this tidbit of advice. One is that only “certain people” can appropriately pull off tattoos. Whether they be exotic Hollywood goddesses or punk rock rebels remains to be seen, but the author seems to be hinting that “normal” people, with normal clothes, normal looks, and normal attitudes, would look positively ridiculous with a tattoo. She claims tattoos “suit” a person, like a particular outfit would, and if a tattoo doesn’t fit within the boundaries of your look, it is inappropriate for you to bother with one.

The other strange part of this article is the author’s experience with her own tattoo, which she got on a lark in college – by a tattoo artist in a dingy shop who smoked a joint the entire time and, quite obviously, ruined the Urdu script she had chosen. She went home, immediately hated the tattoo, scrubbed it with a scouring pad (allegedly believing this might actually work), and eventually gave up and took to constantly wearing clothes that hid the tattoo for the next fifteen years.

According to this enlightened individual, because she was incredibly irresponsible and chose to leave something as monumental as a first tattoo, a permanent and life-altering decision, in the hands of an "artist" under the influence of drugs in a shoddy shop, we should all take caution when getting a tattoo. The author could have stressed the importance of research, or how to locate a friendly and clean shop with talented artists, but instead she simply shrugs off her story as yet another reason why some people should avoid tattoos altogether.

Reading this, my immediate thought (aside from irritation and “I should totally write an article about this”) was, “Why doesn’t she just get a cover-up from someone who knows what they’re doing?” Sure enough, the author does address this – and claims it is only one of her many fantasies. She imagines herself (I paraphrase here) “At L.A. Ink, hair flowing over one shoulder as Kat von D constructs an elaborate piece to cover up my mistake, but this will never happen.”

Probably not, dear author (practically being in the presence of Kat von D herself costs at least a grand) – but why not do the apparently unthinkable and actually put more than thirty seconds of thought into your cover-up design, visit an artist who doesn’t have a blunt sticking out of his mouth, and change your mangled piece into something beautiful? Or can only incredibly attractive rebellious celebrities who get tattoos from other incredibly attractive rebellious celebrities fulfil this particular fantasy?

Another Tentative Attempt to List the Best Movies of the Decade

Keeping in line with the last update, here's a list of what movies I enjoyed the most from the last ten years, not necessarily those that were objectively best (No Country For Old Men made me sleep, as did all three Lord of the Rings movies).

Big Fish (2003)
Paris, je t'aime (2006)
Let The Right One In (2008)
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Y tu mama tambien (2001)
Breakfast on Pluto (2005)
Ghost World (2001)
Anchorman (2004)
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Chicago (2002)
28 Days Later (2002)
The Incredibles (2004)
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Moon (2009)
Grindhouse (2007)
Moulin Rouge (2001)
Memento (2000)
Amelie (2001)
The Prestige (2006)
Oldboy (2003)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Eastern Promises (2007)
Benjamin Button (2008)
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
The Aviator (2004)
Catch Me If You Can (2002)
Thank You For Smoking (2005)
Sweeny Todd (2007)
Spirited Away (2001)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Children of Men (2006)
O Brother Where Art Thou (2000)
Burn After Reading (2008)

A Tentative Attempt to List The Best Movies of 2009

2009 obviously isn't over yet, and, in preparation for Oscar Season, the next two months are promising some very must-see movies (9, Doctor Parnassus, and The Lovely Bones in particular). I also haven't seen a couple of noteworthy releases from the last little while, like The Hurt Locker.

By the end of the year, I'll update this list. As of now, here is a draft version, of sorts, of the films that wowed the pants of me in 2009.

Moon

As I wrote when I first reviewed Moon, I originally went into the movie thinking it would be an indie ripoff of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Instead, it ended up being an achingly sympathetic view of a man's loneliness. The isolation of space is even more apparent when it becomes increasingly clear that the memories that held him together were never as they seemed.

Star Trek












I know perilously close to nothing about Star Trek except the most basic of facts: Spock has pointy ears. Their ship is the Enterprise. But J.J. Abram's Star Trek prequel is wonderfully inclusive of non-fans like myself with just enough tradition to appeal to hardcore followers. It's intensely exhilarating, smart, well-crafted fun, a summer blockbuster that rises above its ilk with fantastic acting, an engaging script, and the gloriously saturated backdrop of space.

District 9












District 9 has two distinct parts. The first, and the one most widely applauded, is the somewhat heavy-handed (to me, at least) allegory to Apartheid-era South Africa. The second, and the one I appreciated the most, was the terrifyingly brutal transformation of a normal, somewhat dim-witted, human into a monstrous hybrid that doesn't quite belong anywhere.

And hey, there's a mecha robot, a big spaceship, and illegally-distributed cat food.

The Informant!














The Informant! is a fantastic film, precisely because it is not what it appears to be. It looks like another quirky expose on white-collar crime, but after awhile, when the audience is allowed to observe just what is going on here (and even then, we're as befuddled as the rest of the cast), Matt Damon's bumbling and clueless character consistently throws us for a loop. By the film's end, we're not sure if we're sympathetic, amused, or horrified, but in this case, that was it's intention all along.

Zombieland














The strength of Zombieland, and what sets it apart from other contenders in the horror-comedy genre, is the fact that it's motley crew of unlikely heroes are the stars, not the zombies themselves. Even if there were absolutely no zombies whatsoever, and we only get to see the team discussing the appeal of Hannah Montana for 12 year old girls, Zombieland would still be one of the funniest films of the year due to the absolutely fantastic chemistry between them.

Inglourious Basterds














Once upon a time, I was convinced Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds was either, A: never going to be made, and B: once it was made, going to be terrible. Heralds of it being his "masterpiece" only served to increase my suspicions and cynicism. I went into the theatre without expecting much, and came out of it absolutely speechless. It's a Tarantino film all right, but it's his most subtle, the most nuanced, the most controlled, and still incredibly fun, featuring a host of stellar actors (including Best Supporting Actor hopeful Cristoph Waltz) who all seem to be having a hell of a lot of fun too.

Some thoughts on Where The Wild Things Are

Not a review per say, but here be my opinions.

I'm not entirely sure why WTWTA has been deemed not suitable for children, as I didn't really see anything you'd call "frightening."
Then again, I grew up in an era when it was perfectly fine to make fucked up kid's movies like The Dark Crystal and Return to Oz, so I guess children are used to slightly different things now.

To enjoy this movie (as I certainly did), it's best to embrace your inner child, if you'll pardon the expression. I'm an adult with an interest in movies who is able to appreciate things like mise-en-scene and lighting and so forth, but you're really going to get the full impact if your mind adapts to what it's like to be a little boy who is jealous of his mom's new boyfriend and is devastated when big kids destroy his snow fort.

This is true for identifying with the Wild Things as well - as they are ultimately the creation of this young boy, they look upon situations with a child's logic, and you'll only end up finding it odd if you scrutinize with an adult's logic. Wild Thing Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini, who, sadly, does not whack anyone or call them a mortadelle, but it's a testament to how good he is in this movie that after a while you stop picturing Tony Soprano completely), as the creature who most resembles Max, is wont to temper tantrums and crushing disappointments when his dreams are dashed. After trying in vain to create a universe with no disappointment or pain, Max's naivete is echoed by that of the Wild Things as well. Through a series of events it becomes clear that this is impossible, but what is possible is to be happy despite issues when you love and are loved. For me, one of the most powerful moments in the film is when Max discovers firsthand that his own temper tantrums are hurting those who love him.

I hated most of the music, but then again, hipster acoustics and Karen O shouting isn't really my cup of tea. But she's banging the director, so what are you gonna do.

Visually, it looks lovely, and the slightly shaky handheld camera effect works because it's used very sparingly and thus doesn't come across as a gimmick. I thought the Wild Things look great, and it was a fantastic idea to only CGI their faces (everything else was an actor in costume). It gives them the appearance of being more human and thus easier to identify with, but their exaggeratedly creature-like features and the fact that they run and stomp and knock around trees while the tiny Max is standing beside them only emphasizes Max's fragility.

Also, they're kind of adorable. I want one. I can't decide between Ira or Douglas.

A note on the trailers: I can already tell I'm going to hate Fantastic Mr. Fox. Even when he's directing an animated feature about a talking fox, Wes Anderson still manages to adhere to all the tropes he's used in his other insufferably clever movies, as well as being the only person on the planet who still thinks it's funny when Owen Wilson talks fast.

All in all, Where the Wild Things Are isn't necessarily a masterpiece, but it is incredibly moving and a pretty beautiful film. I totally cried at the end, but don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my street cred.